I would love to romanticize all aspects of this journey and hold on tight to the beautiful moments of preparing my body for a baby. But, let’s be honest folks, there are crappy moments. Crappy aspects. Crappy hormones.
And, I don’t use that word lightly.
Take for example, my recent bathroom habits. The additional estrogen (Estradiol vaginal suppository form) in my symptom encourages food to move straight through me. And, I mean STRAIGHT through me. I’ve been waking up with the “urge” – to put it mildly – at 5 am, and then again at 6:30 am, and then throughout the day, as I eat and “function.” What a joy.
But, the upside is that I’m detoxing for pregnancy 🙂 And, the additional progesterone suppositories and injections that begin in the next week will have me loudly complaining of the opposite problem. Oh, do I have horrific memories of the constipation…
But, I digress.
These are not easy days, but I’m holding onto the treasured moments with family (who I’m staying with in Houston during this process) and to future dreams of this fierce little lion baby. I feel ridiculously, miraculously calm. Almost matter of fact. I’m about to be pregnant again. Even if for only a couple of weeks. And, I plan on savoring those moments with this baby. Hoping for a lifetime of them. Willing to give thanks even if that is not so.
I am brave. This baby is brave. My family is brave. And the journey isn’t over.
Meanwhile, I need to stock up on soft toilet paper 😉