Yes, this Friday I am 27 weeks pregnant and officially in my third trimester. Yes, I feel Abby kick and roll and love life in stronger and more powerful ways as the days go by. Yes, our unexpected medical bills for November and December jumped to OVER $2,000 by the time it was all said… Continue reading On a Different Note {Week 27 in Honor of an Angel}
The bleeding has started again today. Somehow, in the midst of all of the travel, teaching, grieving, and injections, I nearly forgot that I would have a period in between the miscarriage and the frozen embryo transfer. When I started spotting last night, I panicked: “This couldn’t be happening again!” Then I remembered that this… Continue reading Detox and dreams
Life is precious. Life is full of awful pain and blissful joy. Life is not fair. Life is full of unmerited grace. Life is full of unearned sorrows. I’ve not been writing, because I’ve not been processing. Between the miscarriage 4 weeks ago and my grandfather’s death 2 weeks ago, the grief has been more… Continue reading Time to Process {The Journey of a Lifetime}
Two grandfathers dead in the past year. Two very early miscarriages in the past six months. One best friend raped in the past several years. Three years and counting of infertility. Medical treatments ranging from detox/elimination diets to near hyperstimulation on IVF drugs. Finances gone from somewhat stable to barely eeking by. Desire for a… Continue reading Quick Update {Hugs to All}
Reblogged from my personal blog http://acupofbliss.wordpress.com In the wee hours of the morning on Friday, April 26, my incredible Grandfather was welcomed through Heaven’s gates. I imagine him standing there with a background of white as a slightly younger version of himself. His head is balding, but his hair is still tinted dark brown. His… Continue reading Death is not done yet
*Warning: This blog post contains some graphic physical details Celtic Women sing in the background from my iTunes library. Decaf coffee with whipped cream swirled on top of warm brown liquid keeps me company. Sun breaks through my window, as I dare to break my silence. It’s time to talk again, time to write. I’m not… Continue reading Red and worn
*Reblogged from my primary personal blog http://acupofbliss.wordpress.com Tears dried like saltwater to my face. The grief hit me tonight. Somewhat unexpectantly. I was tired after a long day and even more tired after a long month. It’s hard to believe that it is only February . . . My tank top was wet with the droplets… Continue reading When life sinks in . . . amidst a prayer and a song
Yesterday, I sat in a slip-covered chair under a canvas awning, as my father and uncle said final words before my grandfather’s body was buried in the family plot. Today, I think, act, ponder, write this post “The Day After Death.” It’s a medley. A medley of finality. My grandfather is really gone. Life keeps happening. I’m… Continue reading The Medley of Finality
Forgive me if you are reading this post for the second time, but these are the only words coming right now . . . A knock on the door interrupted my Saturday afternoon. My sweet friend Tyler stood on the front porch, bearing gifts. Ben & Jerry’s tucked in one hand. A card clasped in… Continue reading A Man Beloved. Hearts Aching.
Tear Drops Falling 